Sonic Stupidity
by Sofaspud23
Summary: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow live together and hell breaks loose. Warning! Wannabes singing really get drunk off Root Beer. Written by Derek the Demon Prince.
1. End of Peace

I do not own any Sega trademark. Just the Sonic games.

Hell's Experience

Chp 1: End of Peace

Once upon a time, when hell broke lose…

Tails was at the Mystic Ruins when a comet was flying right at his home. "What the heck?", he exclaimed as it collided into his home causing it to blow up. He ran to his destroyed home to see a spaceship with Shadow inside. "Shadow?"

Shadow jumped out all dizzy and threw up on Tails and exclaimed, "Man! I got hell of drunk!" Then he passed out.

Tails, who was not only angry about his home destroyed by a stupid, drunk, passed out hedgehog and having Shadow's puke all over him, but was also angry that the Blue Tornado was destroyed as well. "Dammit! Now I have nowhere to live!", he exclaimed.

Then the world's fastest hedgehog ran into Tails and they both fell down a nearby cliff and only survived because Tails saved them both by flying. Sonic then walked around all dizzy, puked on Tails, then passed out.

Tails grew furious and started kicking the remains of his house until he hurt his foot, then he cried like a baby.

Then Knuckles appeared in a blue cape and ran to Tails. "What's the problem here sir?", Knuckles asked imitating a superhero voice.

Tails just stared at the red echidna with a WTF look on his face until Knuckles puked on him and passed out. Then he was just plain disgusted.

Later that day…

Shadow woke up to find himself in the ruins of someone's home and saw Tails cursing like there's no tomorrow. "Damn, what happened?", he asked Tails.

Tails shot him an evil glare and answered, "Nothing, you just flew here in a spaceship into my house, puked on me, and passed out. That's all." Tails gritted his teeth and gave Shadow the finger and walked off.

"Where am I?", Shadow asked himself. He got up and walked around. He then saw Sonic sleeping near a cliff that he could fall off of. "It's that faker.", he said.

Shadow ran next to Sonic and got an evil idea into his head. He started to push Sonic off the cliff. Sonic then woke up and saw Shadow.

He looked at the cliff below him and asked Shadow, "What are you doing?" Shadow who was surprised jumped back and accidentally knocked Sonic off the cliff.

"Oops… Oh well, that was the plan.", Shadow said running off with a victory smile that said, "No more faker! Hell yeah!"

Sonic was rescued by Tails who was still cursing like there was no tomorrow and then Sonic ran after Shadow with fire gleaming in his eyes.

Sonic caught up with Shadow and tackled him and yelled, "SHADOW! YOU CRAZY SON OF A… I missed you buddy!" Then Sonic started hugging Shadow who threw up in the sickening presence of 'faker'.

"Faker, get off me or die.", Shadow threatened. Sonic jumped off on ran in circles for some unbeknownst reason. Shadow was just stricken by the fact that 'faker' just hugged him and fainted.

Knuckles drove by in a black low-rider that had flames on the side and he wore a lot of bling-bling. "What's up homies?" "Fairies!", Sonic replied. "Ooookay…", Knuckles said. "_Weirdo_", he thought. "Fairies and ponies and flowers and…", Sonic started until he fainted. "Did my brotha forget his pillsizzles?", Knuckles asked himself.

Tails walked by and asked, "What am I going to do? I have no home." "My homie without a home? Brotha, I hook you up 4 sure.", Knuckles replied. Tails looked at Knuckles with another WTF face and shrugged.

Shadow woke up and ran over to Tails and Knuckles. "I need a place to live. I destroyed the Ark when I got drunk earlier today.", Shadow explained. Knuckles and Tails stared at him with WTF looks on their faces and Knuckles said, "Umm sure."

Sonic ran towards Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow and bumped into Shadow. "Man, what happened to me?", he asked. "You forgot to take your pills and kept saying fairies and crap like that, hugged Shadow and made him pass out, then came over here and asked what happened and I answered you forgot to take your pills and kept saying fairies and crap like that, hugged Shadow and made him pass out, then came over here and asked what happened and I answered you forgot to take your pills and kept saying fairies and crap like that, hugged Shadow and made him pass out, then came over here and asked what happened and I answered …", Knuckles started again.

"Shut the hell up!", Tails yelled. "Don't be hatin.", Knuckles replied. Shadow and Sonic shook their heads and Sonic said, "I blew up my house when I was drunk earlier today and I need a place to live." Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow stared at Sonic with WTF looks on their faces. "Umm…sure, you can live with me, Tails, and Shadow.", Knuckles replied. Shadow yelled, "HELL NO! THERE IS NO WAY I'M LIVING WITH FAKER!", and he stormed off.

Sonic smirked. "You're afraid of me, aren't you?", he mocked Shadow. Shadow stopped and turned around and said, "Please, why I would be afraid of you faker? I'll take on your deal Knuckles."

"Then it's set dog! We gonna bust a cap in that house for sure!", Knuckles exclaimed.

Sonic, Tails, and Shadow stared at Knuckles with yet, another WTF look on their faces and Tails said, "Knuckles, that doesn't make any sense. Are you still drunk?" Knuckles then puked on Tails and passed out. Tails yelled, screamed in fury, and started cursing as if the world would end in two seconds.

Even later that day…

Sonic packed a blanket and a teddy bear from his mother (he has separation anxiety). Shadow had packed an X-Box, PSP, Gamecube, and a blanket for his supplies. Knuckles had no need to pack. Tails packed the ruins of the Blue Tornado, lots of paper and pencils, and machine parts.

"Where is this house Knuckles?", Tails asked. "It's someplace called 'The White House.", Knuckles replied. Tails looked at Knuckles with a "Are you stupid?" look. "The President lives there moron!", he exclaimed. "Nothing we can't handle…"

End of Chapter One. Review me if you like.


	2. Shadow's Rage

Hi and welcome to Chapter 2: Shadow's Rage. This chapter has quite a bit of action in it however. Please review if you like!

I do not own Sega trademark. Just the games.

At the White House…

Knuckles, Sonic, and Shadow were dressed in camouflage and were planning to take over the White House. "What's the plan Red Bandit?", Sonic asked.

"Ultimate Life Form will distract the Secret Service with a murderous rampage as I will infiltrate the White House and kidnap the President, then you will run to the First Lady and distract her with anything means necessary. Got it Blue Blur?", Knuckles explained.

"Umm sure. How do I distract the First Lady?", Sonic asked. "Just flirt with her a little.", Knuckles answered. Sonic then puked. "Hell no! She's old and ugly! That's just plain sick!", Sonic exclaimed.

Shadow laughed maniacally and pulled out a machine gun. "I shall kill all those worthless humans and take over the White House in prologue to World Domination! This is WHO I AM! Hahahahahahaha!", Shadow exclaimed.

Shadow ran up to the White House and shot the guards at the gate. "Outta my way foolish humans!" He then pulled out a rocket launcher and blasted the gate open. He ran into the White House and saw three GUN soldiers and blew them up. "See you all in hell!", Shadow exclaimed as he ran off.

Knuckles watched in awe as Shadow did his work. "That is one hedgehog, who is dedicated to his work. I couldn't be more proud.", Knuckles said as a few tears came to his eyes. Sonic stared at Knuckles and asked, "Aren't you supposed to kidnap the President and where is Tails?"

"Tails is too chicken to help or be involved and I have a job to do, see you later!", Knuckles exclaimed as he ran into the White House. Knuckles ran into the President's office, gagged the President, and tied him up. This is a stickup! I want you and your dumasses you call soldiers the hell out of here and I shall live here. Understand?", Knuckles explained. The President stared at Knuckles. Then Knuckles puked on the President and passed out.

Meanwhile…

Sonic was working on his ridiculous part of the mission and saw the First Lady in her room looking for the phone. "Oh shit! Must stop her before she calls in the military!", Sonic exclaimed. He ran into the room and started to calm her down.

"Ma'am, you look…nice today.", he complimented. _"Nice? Please, ugly as hell if you ask me."_ "Why are you in here?", she asked. "I'm here to calm you down. **Sonic The Hedgehog **at your service!", Sonic exclaimed. "I don't care if you are the strongest thing in the world, I'm calling the military!", she exclaimed. "I'm not the strongest, but the fastest, and I'm sure the President has everything under control.", Sonic reassured her.

"Well, if you say so…", she started. "Good, let's get out of here.", Sonic said. They started to leave when they saw Shadow killing everyone. "OH MY GOD!", the First Lady exclaimed. "Now calm down ma'am.", Sonic ordered.

Shadow spun around and saw the First lady and Sonic. "The First Lady? This is perfect! I can kill a well-known person as a warning to the humans that **Shadow the Hedgehog, The Ultimate Life Form,** is taking over the world! Hahahaha!", Shadow exclaimed.

Shadow pointed the gun at the First Lady and fired three shots. Sonic watched as the First Lady fell to the ground. "Shadow! What the hell is wrong with you!", Sonic yelled. "I will do whatever it takes to take control of the humans, even if it means killing them. Get in my way… and I'll kill you too faker.", Shadow answered.

Sonic stared at Shadow and knew that Shadow wouldn't back down and neither will he. "So, this is how it's gonna be Shadow. Looks like I have no choice but to stop you." "You can try Sonic. You can try…", Shadow started. He pulled the trigger to hear that the gun was out of ammo. "Damn, looks like I'll have to kill you the old-fashioned way, Sonic."

Sonic and Shadow charged at each other and started punching at the speed of sound. Shadow then was surrounded by the familiar glow of red aura. "Death to all who oppose me!", Shadow exclaimed. "Shit!", Sonic muttered. Then a blue aura surrounded Shadow and mixed into the red, making purple aura. "Behold The Ultimate Power of CHAOS BLAST CONTROL!", Shadow exclaimed. Shadow disappeared and the whole White House exploded (Knuckles and the President managed to get out).

Sonic was knocked out while Shadow stood above him and laughed weakly. "This is the ultimate power!" Then he blacked out.

Afterwards, in the hospital…

Sonic woke up and saw Amy above him. "Hi Sonic!", she exclaimed. "NOOOO! I was killed and now I'm in hell! God! What did I do wrong? Why can't I be in heaven? This isn't fair! NOOOO!", Sonic cried.

"Don't worry Sonic. You're still alive.", Amy said. "I am? Damn! Now I wish I really did go to hell.", Sonic said. Amy hit him with her hammer. "Oww! What was that for?", Sonic asked.

"That is the last time you get drunk and almost get yourself killed! You, Shadow, and Knuckles are under trial for murder, disturbing the peace, trespassing, and destruction of public property!", Amy exclaimed.

"Holy shit! Did I really do that?", Sonic asked. "See for yourself!", Amy answered. She pointed at the window. Sonic looked out it to see Knuckles running from the cops. "So. Knuckles is always running from the cops.", Sonic said. "NO! Look behind that!", Amy yelled. Sonic looked and saw two dogs expressing their love. "I made out with a dog?", Sonic asked. Amy slapped herself. "NOOOOOOO! Look at the White House!", she yelled. Sonic looked at the White House and saw nothing. "I don't see anything.", Sonic said. "You destroyed it you moron!" "Holy shit!", Sonic exclaimed.

Inside Shadow's room…

Shadow was just waking up. "Man, what happened? I have got to stop drinking. I hope I didn't kill anyone.", Shadow said to himself. "You almost killed half of the people in the White House and killed the First Lady.", said a voice. "What? Who said that?", Shadow asked. The commander stepped out of the shadows (The commander is on the game Shadow the Hedgehog if you haven't played it).

"You!", Shadow exclaimed. "You still haven't changed since you were created Shadow, you're still a killer!", the commander exclaimed. "Kill the First Lady? I don't believe you!", Shadow said. "See for yourself then Shadow.", the commander said. He put in a tape.

The commander was taking a bath in the tape (this was last night before Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles destroyed the White house). He was playing with a rubber ducky. "I like my ducky, yes I do, yes I do!", the commander exclaimed. "Honey! You've been in the shower for three hours now! Put that ducky away!", said a woman's voice. "Yes mother."

"Oh god! Wrong tape!", the commander exclaimed. Shadow laughed at the commander. "You live with your mother?", Shadow asked cracking up. "S-shut up!" The commander switched the tapes.

Shadow laughed maniacally and pulled out a machine gun. "I shall kill all those worthless humans and take over the White House in prologue to World Domination! This is WHO I AM! Hahahahahahaha!", Shadow exclaimed.

"Outta my way foolish humans!" Shadow then pulled out a rocket launcher and blasted the gate open.

Shadow spun around and saw the First lady and Sonic. "The First Lady? This is perfect! I can kill a well-known person as a warning to the humans that **Shadow the Hedgehog, The Ultimate Life Form,** is taking over the world! Hahahaha!", Shadow exclaimed.

Shadow pointed the gun at the First Lady and fired three shots. Sonic watched as the First Lady fell to the ground.

Sonic and Shadow charged at each other and started punching at the speed of sound. Shadow then was surrounded by the familiar glow of red aura. "Death to all who oppose me!", Shadow exclaimed. "Shit!", Sonic muttered. Then a blue aura surrounded Shadow and mixed into the red, making purple aura. "Behold The Ultimate Power of CHAOS BLAST CONTROL!", Shadow exclaimed. Shadow disappeared and the whole White House exploded.

The commander turned off the tape. "I did all that?", Shadow asked. "Yes you did Shadow. Thanks to you, this country is damned to hell!", the commander exclaimed. "Time to die Shadow!", the commander exclaimed. He pulled out a gun and shot Shadow.

"NOOOO!", Shadow exclaimed. He was on the ground near the White House next to Knuckles, Sonic, and Tails. Shadow looked around and saw that the White House was still there. Shadow sighed. "I guess it was just a dream.", Shadow said. Then he went back to sleep.

End of Chapter Two. Please review if you like. Next chapter: Finding a home


	3. Fears and Metal Faker

Hi! I'm back to write my next chapter. Thanks for all those reviews and keep them coming!

Chapter Three: Fears and Metal Faker

At the White House…

Shadow woke up the next day and saw Knuckles and Sonic planning to take the White House. "Man that was a weird dream. I wonder…", Shadow thought out loud. He walked over to Knuckles and Sonic.

"Nice to see you Ultimate Life Form.", Knuckles greeted Shadow. "What's the plan Red Bandit?", Sonic asked.

"Ultimate Life Form will distract the Secret Service with a murderous rampage as I will infiltrate the White House and kidnap the President, then you will run to the First Lady and distract her with anything means necessary. Got it Blue Blur?", Knuckles explained.

"Umm sure. How do I distract the First Lady?", Sonic asked. "Just flirt with her a little.", Knuckles answered. Sonic then puked. "Hell no! She's old and ugly! That's just plain sick!", Sonic exclaimed.

"I got a bad feeling about this…", Shadow said thinking about his dream. "Is Ultimate Life Form being a chicken?", Sonic mocked.

"The Ultimate Faker Form is about to get killed if he keeps talking.", Shadow threatened. "Actually, his name's Blue Blur.", Knuckles said being completely oblivious to the fact that Shadow is threatening Sonic.

"Are you guys dr…", Shadow started until Tails jumped tackled him. "Shadow! Don't say the word!", Tails exclaimed. "What word? Drunk?", Shadow asked. Knuckles and Sonic puked on Tails and passed out.

Tails started yelling and screaming and destroyed everything nearby until he hurt his hand when he tried to break a twig. Then he cried like a baby and ran away. "Oookay…_What a baby._", Shadow thought.

At Station Square…

Shadow dragged Knuckles and Sonic towards the Mystic Ruins area when he saw a nice house. Knuckles and Sonic woke up and asked each other what happened in sync and started fighting because Sonic and Knuckles called each other a copycat in sync and I don't know exactly why I am still typing this sentence but I am even though I shouldn't because the people reading this might want to get back to the story so why don't I shut up so they can read, huh? Yeah! Take that me! Okay, back to the story.

"Nice house…", Sonic said. "Let's take that one!", Knuckles exclaimed. "Who's going to talk?", Tails asked. "I'll take care of it.", Sonic said. He walked up to the door as Shadow, Knuckles and Tails hid behind a nearby bush. Sonic knocked on the door.

"Who is it?", said a woman's voice. "_That voice…so familiar…_", Sonic thought. "Well, who is it?", the woman asked again. "Your mom!", Sonic quickly said panicking. As the door opened, Sonic's eyes opened wide. "NOOOOOOO!", Sonic screamed. The woman dragged him into the house.

"I like this house owner…", Shadow said. He loved the sound of Sonic's cry for mercy. Shadow grabbed his walkie-talkie and listened for Sonic. "Save me and abort mission!", Sonic cried through the walkie-talkie. "I don't feel like it…", Shadow answered. "Who cares? Do it anyway!", Sonic demanded. "Umm…no.", Shadow replied.

"Chicken!", Sonic mocked. Shadow grew furious. "What did you say?", Shadow asked angrily. "Umm…chicken", Sonic said starting to regret his words. "I'LL KILL YOU MOTHER FAKING DAMNED TO HELL STUPID FAKE SHITTY BITCH!", Shadow yelled. (Excuse Shadow's language please) Knuckles gasped and covered Tails' ears. "Shadow! There are little kids around! Keep quiet with the language!", Knuckles exclaimed.

Shadow jumped through the nearest window and destroyed everything in his path between him and Sonic. He found Sonic in the living room and was about to kill him until, he saw…the house. "What the…", Shadow started. He looked everywhere and saw Sonic's pictures, paintings, statues, the carpet was blue, the walls, were blue, everywhere he looked, he saw nothing but Sonic.

Shadow just stared at the room and he finally freaked out when a Sonic doll landed on his shoulder. "FAKER'S EVERYWHERE!", Shadow screamed. He ran in circles screaming the whole time until Sonic screamed. "I don't wanna die!", Sonic cried. He pointed to the nearby staircase and there was his worst fear, the enraged Amy Rose.

"Shadow! What are you doing here?", Amy asked. "Nothing.", Shadow lied. "Why did you destroy half of my house?", Amy asked getting even more pissed off. "Wanna leave Shadow?", Sonic asked. "Yes, let's leave. This place makes me sick and I don't plan on dying today.", Shadow agreed. "Sonic! Shadow! Beware, Amy is a rare and deadly species! She inflicts pain in as many ways as possible! You two probably won't make it out of there alive!", Tails explained.

"I'll live on, but Sonic won't!", Shadow exclaimed as he reached for the green Chaos Emerald. "Chaos Control!", Shadow exclaimed as he teleported to Tails and Knuckles. "Shadow! Where's Sonic?", Tails asked.

"I had to leave him behind.", Shadow explained. "No! We have to go back!", Tails exclaimed. "No time!", Knuckles explained. "No! I'm not leaving without Sonic!", Tails exclaimed. "Tails, nobody wanted to leave Sonic behind.", Knuckles explained. "Speak for yourself.", Shadow said. "But sometimes, we have to leave our friends behind. I know you don't want to but there's nothing we can do.", Knuckles said. Tails started crying. "Listen, let's live on, for him, let's live on for his sake as well as ours. Right Shadow?", Knuckles asked. "Live for him? Please.", Shadow said coldly. "Okay.", Tails agreed. "Now let's go!", Shadow demanded. The trio used the power of Chaos Control and warped to safety. "Sayonara, Sonic, the Hedgehog.", Tails said as he disappeared.

At Angel Island…

The three reappeared in front of the shrine of the Master Emerald. They all turned around to see whom they all thought was dead. "Sonic?", Tails asked. "NOOOOOOOO! Faker's ghost has come back to haunt us!", Shadow exclaimed. "I'm alive Shadow, no thanks to you I might add.", Sonic said. "Sonic! How'd you live and how'd you get here with…OH GOD!", Tails shrieked. "I used the blue Chaos Emerald and I wanted to get to the farthest place away from Amy, so I figured she'd never get here and why 'OH GOD!'?", Sonic asked. "AMY!", Knuckles and Tails screamed.

Sonic spun around to see his worst fears again, Amy and her house. "Hi Sonic!", Amy greeted. "Faker! You idiot! You overused the power of Chaos Control and warped her and that horrible house with you. Now we'll all die!", Shadow cried. "Don't get short with me!", Sonic mocked. "We're all short you dumass!", Shadow yelled. "There's no escaping this time Sonic.", Amy said.

"We're doomed Shadow. Goodbye buddy.", Sonic said. "Goodbye faker,", Shadow said. They closed their eyes and braced themselves, but nothing came. Then a familiar laugh sounded out. "I'm alive!", Shadow cried. "Is that…Metal Sonic?", Sonic asked.

"Of course it is you nitwit!", Metal Sonic said as he appeared in front of Sonic and Shadow. "I'm here to kidnap this girl and kill you!", Metal Sonic explained. "You kidnapped Amy?", Sonic asked. "Yes.", Metal Sonic answered. "My hero!", Sonic exclaimed and he ran over to Metal Sonic and kissed his shoes. "I am your loyal servant, master! All hail Master Metal Sonic!", Sonic cried.

"Yes, all you lesser beings shall hail me!", Metal Sonic agreed. "I hail nobody Metal Faker!", Shadow exclaimed. "The Ultimate Life Form dares to challenge me?", Metal Sonic asked. "No master, this garbage is too weak! Ignore him my good master.", Sonic said.

"An excellent point my loyal copy, this weak-link has not the power to scratch my metal.", Metal Sonic mocked. "METAL SONIC! IT IS PAST YOUR BEDTIME!", Eggman yelled from out of nowhere. "Can't I sleep later mommy? I'm about to kill Shadow and conquer the world and Sonic's my slave.", Metal Sonic explained. "NO!", Eggman yelled. "Yes mother. You just wait!", Metal Sonic threatened.

"Mommy? Bedtime? How pathetic…", Shadow said. Tails started cracking up. "Grr!", Metal Sonic growled as he disappeared.

End of Chapter 3. Please review and have a nice day!


	4. Dawn of Shadows

Hi and welcome to Chapter 4: The Dawn of Shadows. Also if you have any reviews to send me, please don't send them to my friend's Sofaspud23's email address and send them to the website. If you don't, then the reviews won't reach me. Thank you. Now let's begin. I do not own any Sega trademark. Just the games they sell. Please enjoy.

At Angel Island…

Our heroes have just finished raiding Amy's house and escaped the clutches of Metal Faker. If you think this is the end then you are seriously mistaken for in this dark chapter lies the true beginning of the uncontrollable chaos that the story truly possesses. Here is the true beginning of the story. Will our heroes survive the tragedy this adventure has so much, or will stupidity consume them and transport them into a room of immortal stupid? Is being immortally stupid even possible? Just read and see.

"Will you shut up and let the story commence?", Shadow asked. "Fine. Sheesh, can't a guy speak his mind without being told to shut up?", I asked. "No.", Shadow coldly replied. "Mean bastard…", I said walking off.

Amy was just appearing in front of Shadow and Sonic who was crying out for Metal Sonic. "MASTER! DON'T LEAVE ME!", Sonic cried. "Master?", Shadow asked himself. "Man, what happened?", Amy asked.

"It all started when Sonic rung your doorbell and you dragged him in, then Sonic mocked Shadow who got angry and destroyed half your house while looking for him, when Shadow saw Sonic, he freaked out when he saw your Sonic collection and you heard him, got angry, and caused Sonic and Shadow to use Chaos Control and warp away but, Sonic was stupid and he overused the power and warped you and your house with him and you walked outside to kill Sonic and Shadow but before you could, Metal Sonic came out of nowhere and kidnapped you which caused Sonic to kiss his feet and become Metal Sonic's slave which sickened Shadow and caused an argument between him and Metal Sonic which ended quickly due to the fact that Metal Sonic's mother called him home and you came down, woke up and asked me what happened.", Knuckles explained in the longest and most annoying sentence I have ever heard.

"I didn't get all of it. Could you explain again Knuckles?", Amy asked. "Sure. It all started when Sonic rung your doorbell and you dragged him in, then Sonic mocked Shadow who got angry and destroyed half your house while looking for him, when Shadow saw Sonic, he freaked out when he saw your Sonic collection and you heard him, got angry, and caused Sonic and Shadow to use Chaos Control and warp away but, Sonic was stupid and he overused the power and warped you and your house with him and you walked outside to kill Sonic and Shadow but before you could, Metal Sonic came out of nowhere and kidnapped you which caused Sonic to kiss his feet and become Metal Sonic's slave which sickened Shadow and caused an argument between him and Metal Sonic which ended quickly due to the fact that Metal Sonic's mother called him home and you came down, woke up and asked me what happened.", Knuckles explained again.

Amy still had a puzzled look on her face. "Fine, I'll explain it one more time.", Knuckles said. "NOOOOO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!", Tails cried. "Why are you so mean to me Tails?", Knuckles asked almost crying. "What are you talking about?", Tails asked.

"Everyday you insult me, you don't listen to me, you hit me, you…", Knuckles started. "You sound like my wife, and I don't have one!", Tails replied. "Oh! That's how it is huh? You want a divorce huh? I'll be glad to leave you and your action figures behind! You worthless husband!", Knuckles yelled. "Divorce? Wife? What the hell Knuckles?", Tails asked really confused. "Is Knuckles drunk again?", Shadow asked. "Why can't you come up with another joke Derek? That drunk one is starting to piss me off!", Tails exclaimed. "Oh! For that I'm gonna have Knuckles puke on you** EVERY CHAPTER** from now on!", I exclaimed. "NOOOOOOOO!", Tails screamed. Then Knuckles puked on him and passed out. Tails then started crying like a little baby throwing a little temper tantrum.

Sonic, Shadow, and Amy who were really confused, changed the subject and went back to talking about Metal Sonic. "So…If I was kidnapped by Metal Sonic…who rescued me?", Amy asked. "Shadow did!", Sonic exclaimed. "I did no such…", Shadow started before Amy started hugging him.

Sonic yelled into the air, "I'M FREE!" and ran around Angel Island in pure joy. "You two make a nice couple.", Sonic mocked as he ran by. "Shut up faker!", Shadow and Amy yelled after him. 'Whoa, we probably could easily get along.", Shadow said. Sonic then stopped running in circles so he could laugh in Shadow's face but what he didn't know was the joke's on him instead.

"Amy, listen, it's nice and all being with you but I'm bored and frankly, I don't like that garbage you live in.", Shadow explained. "Wanna blow it up?", Amy asked. "Now you're talking!", Shadow exclaimed. The smile on Sonic's face quickly faded.

Amy and Shadow put gasoline all over the house and then they lit it on fire but they forgot that Amy had fireworks in the house and it caused a huge explosion. "Sweet.", Shadow and Amy said as the house exploded. "Wanna kill Sonic now?", Amy asked. "It is only my dream Amy.", Shadow answered.

They both shot glances at Sonic and grabbed machine guns. "Wait a minute!", Sonic yelled. Then time froze around him and he stood there confused. "All I did was say Shadow rescued Amy and I'm about to be killed for it!", Sonic exclaimed. Then time went back to normal and Sonic was praying to God for a miracle and a bright heavenly gold light appeared.

"Yay! A heavenly angel has come to save me!", Sonic exclaimed. Then the bright light turned into an angel who had long blonde hair, green-blue eyes, and wore white clothes (this seems kinda familiar to those who've played Tales of Symphonia which I add that I don't own). "Save you pathetic creature? No, I am Lord Yggdrasill, leader of…", Yggdrasill started. "Leader of your mom! Outta our way!", Shadow yelled.

"You certainly have guts, but you are simply as stubborn and weak as cockroaches.", Yggdrasill mocked. "You call me weak Mr. uses a lot of clichéd lines?", Shadow asked. "Mithos! This is the third time you wandered into the wrong game this week! Get back over here!", Yuan yelled. "You won't be so lucky next time!", Yggdrasill threatened as he left. "That's the second weirdo today that has stopped some plan to kill someone! Those bastards!", Shadow exclaimed. "Yeah, Metal Sonic and Lord Ygg… dra… si…somethin' like that.", Tails said.

"Where'd faker go?", Shadow asked remembering Sonic. "Beats me.", Amy answered. "Maybe he went into this thing.", Shadow said walking into a machine. When he came out, there was a thousand of him. "Holy crap Shadow!", Tails exclaimed. "What?", all the Shadows answered. "You cloned yourself! I'm in heaven!", Amy said. The Shadows looked at one another and smirked. "Sweet! Let's go find faker and destroy him.", all the Shadows said simultaneously.

The Shadows organized themselves into an army and searched all of Angel Island but found no signs of Sonic. "He might have used Chaos Control Lieutenant Shadow.", a lower rank Shadow said. "Yes indeed Private.", the Lieutenant Shadow agreed. Before they knew it, they were all using Chaos Control and searching the whole planet then they found Sonic. "No escape this time!", General Shadow exclaimed. "Open Fire! Initiate plan Dark Shadow Gun!"

The front line of Shadows turned into Dark Shadow and the ones behind them were firing their machine guns at Sonic who was more than likely scared stiff and couldn't move. When the Dark Shadows in front ran out of Dark Aura, then the second line of Shadows stepped forward and turned into Dark Shadows. "Hey! That's not fair! The Shadows in line keep switching to become invincible to attack!", Sonic exclaimed. "That my friend, is because this fic isn't fair, so deal with it!", I answered. "At least give me something to protect myself with!", Sonic pleaded. "Fine.", I said. Then a plastic toy shield and toy sword appeared in Sonic's hands. "What the hell? These are toys!", Sonic yelled. "I know, see you in the afterlife!", I said as I disappeared.

Sonic started to panic until he heard a voice come out of the toy weapons. "Hey you! Why are you just sitting there? Attack!", the sword demanded. "Yeah, what he said.", the shield agreed. "You guys talk?", Sonic asked being the most confused creature in existence. "See you in hell faker!", General Shadow cried. "I think not! I'll show you the power of **A THOUSAND TOYS!**", Sonic exclaimed as he turned himself and the toys into their Super Forms. "Here he comes!", cried the Shadows.

Cliffhangers suck but here's one (sorry if you're like me and hate cliffhangers). Remember to review on the website. Thank you and see you next chapter.


	5. Too many people!

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 5 of Sonic Stupidity! If you've ever read my summary, then you might be wandering why aren't our heroes living in a house?

"Who cares anyway? I just want to get around to killing faker already!", Shadow stated. "Why can't I ever say what I have to say?", I asked. "I was just stating what everyone thinks.", Shadow explained. "You don't know that.", I replied. "Just hurry and explain what you supposedly 'need' to explain.", Shadow demanded sighing. "I'll do just that.", I replied.

Anyway, they aren't living in a house yet but they will be in this chapter. You can expect a lot more stupidity Sonic and Knuckles, more crying from Tails, and now there will be more a lot more Shadows and an Shadow obsessed Amy for Sonic to deal with. Also expect a few chapters of a contest that's exactly like American Idol (which I add I don't own). Now let's begin. "Finally.", Shadow said. "…" I don't own any Sega trademark.

Super Sonic and his toy weapons were in the air charging the army of Shadows. "Hahahahaha! Try and beat me now Shadow! Chaos Spear!", Sonic cried throwing a beam of golden energy at the army of Shadows. "Nice try faker! Chaos Blast!", exclaimed the Dark Shadows in the front line. The Chaos Spear bounced of the energy caused by Chaos Blast and flew at the toy shield. "NOOOO!", the toy sword cried diving in front of the toy shield. The sword received the blast and it fell to the ground.

"NO! Toy sword!", cried the toy shield. It flew after the toy sword and cried. "Speak to me! Don't die dammit!", the toy shield cried. "Hehehe… I'm a stupid retard.", the dying toy said. "Damn you! Don't you dare die!", cried the shield. "I shouldn't have dove in front of you, I'm s-so stupid. You're a shield, it would've hurt you a lot less than me.", the toy sword explained. "Then why? Why did you sacrifice yourself?", the shield asked. "I don't know.", the sword merely answered. "I love you!", shield exclaimed. "Goodbye…T-toy shield…", the sword said as it died. "NOOOO!", cried the shield.

The shield's plastic was touching the sword and it didn't move. "What are they doing?", Sonic asked. "Are they making out on the battlefield?", Shadow General asked. "That's disgusting and plain weird!", Sonic exclaimed. "I never thought I'd see the day where two toys were making out.", Shadow General thought aloud. "Yeah… Were we fighting or something?", Sonic asked. "Time to die faker!", all the Shadows cried.

"We'll see about that! Chaos Control!", Sonic exclaimed as he disappeared. "I will deal with this, myself!", Shadow General exclaimed as the Chaos Emeralds spun around him (Where'd the Chaos Emeralds come from?) and transformed him into Super Shadow. Sonic appeared behind Shadow when he saw a Burger King (Which I never owned and hopefully never will own). "Sweet! I'm hungry, are you Shadow?", Sonic asked. "What? I was about to kill you! Why the hell are you hungry now?", Shadow asked.

"Come on Shadow, I mean, when do we ever get to eat at resteraunts where they do a half-ass job of cooking the food?", Sonic asked. (You probably see I hate Burger King) "You have a point Sonic, I like to make fun of people when I eat their horrible food. "Hey, you didn't call me faker.", Sonic noticed. "Don't think I'll make that a habit faker.", Shadow said. "What about your army?", Sonic asked.

Shadow turned around and saw his army being demolished by Knuckles and Tails. "NO! My army!", Shadow cried. (Poor Shadow, no army now)

"Why do you keep interrupting with your god damned parentheses?", Shadow asked. "And why are you typing this story in the middle of class?", Tails asked. "Shut up Tails, my computer teacher doesn't know that!", I exclaimed. "How's the assignment going Derek?", Mr. Kelly asked. "Great Mr. Kelly!", I said rather quickly. The teacher walks off to help another student. I had a sigh of relief and went back to typing Sonic Stupidity…Oops, did I just type all of that? "Good going…", Shadow said.

"Back to the story damn you!", Stewie exclaimed. (Family Guy is awesome, but I don't own it) "Why are you here?", Tails asked. "It's not my fault, fat man was chasing a flying peanut and it led here.", Stewie explained. "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe…", Peter laughed chasing the flying peanut. Then it hit him in the eye and then the place we don't dare talk of and flew off. "Ow! Man, what the hell? You bastard, just what the hell? Ow! What the hell?", Peter exclaimed falling to the ground and rolling all over the place.

"Yep, that looked painful.", Stewie said. "Come on fat man! Lets leave and get me my weapons, I mean lunch!", Stewie demanded as he and Peter disappeared. Then Mario and Bowser appeared and they were fighting, again (I don't own them). "God damn! This is our story so stay the hell out of it!", Knuckles exclaimed. "Mama mia! I was about a' kill de' Bowser a'", Mario explained. "Just leave before I shoot you, grind you to bits, throw you in a shredder, burn you on fire, and blast you into oblivion!", Shadow threatened. "Just a' bring it!", Mario mocked.

At a fighting arena…

"Tonight's match up will be a ferocious one! I'm Michael Cole and this is Tazz at ringside on the EWW, Extreme World Warriors, better then that fake WWE. Tonight will be Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles the Echidna, Miles "Tails" Prower, and The Ultimate Life versus The Red Jumpstart, Green Jumpstart, and The Turtle guy with freaky white spikes on his back in a handicap 4 on 3 elimination Tag Team Match.", Cole explained. "Oh boy, I can't wait Cole! This match ought to be good.", Tazz agreed. (EWW is something Sofaspud23 made up so I don't own this idea either)

The Shadow the Hedgehog Theme Song, "I AM" starts playing…

"Introducing first, weighing at 44 pounds, The Ultimate Life Form, Shadow the Hedgehog!", the announcer said as Shadow entered the ring. Then Shadow did his little 'there's no time to play games' stance thingy and waited for his opponents.

Then "We Are" Theme Song starts playing…

"And the his partners, weighing at a combined weight of 124 pounds, Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles the Echidna, and Miles "Tails" Prower!", The announcer said as all three of them got into the ring. "Man, this song's retarded. All it is about is freaking teamwork!", Knuckles stated. "You're telling me.", Shadow agreed.

Then the really stupid Mario Theme Song from his very fist game starts…

"And the opponents, weighing at a combined weight of…Holy Shit! 1,089 pounds, the Mario Brothers, and The King of Koopas, Bowser!", The announcer announced. "Man, you guys need to lose some weight.", Tails said. Knuckles stared at his overweight opponents, puked on Tails and passed out. Tails started crying and left the ring. "Oh, poor baby, now it looks like a handicap 2 on three tag team match Cole.", Tazz said.

"This sucks!", Sonic exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm stuck on the same team as faker and we're fighting two overweight disgusting humans and one huge turtle.", Shadow explained. "Plus together we're only 88 pounds, huge weight difference!", Sonic exclaimed. "You guys are so screwed.", Bowser said.

Then the same heavenly light from earlier appeared and out came Lord Yggdrasill. "Not you again…", Shadow said. "An angel once again has come to save us!", Sonic cried. "Stupid creature, I came to save nobody, I want to kill you all!", Yggdrasill explained. "Oh, you're that girl from earlier, Lord Ygg-dra-…something like that.", Sonic said. "I'm not a girl!", Yggdrasill exclaimed. "You're not!", Shadow asked surprised.

"Looks like an angel is interfering with the match!", Cole exclaimed. "Nah, ya think?", Shadow said sarcastically. "But the match hasn't even begun yet!", Sonic said. "Can't a plumma kill a' someone anymore?", Luigi asked. "For a' real!", Mario agreed. "I'm tired of this nonsense…Chaos Control!", Shadow exclaimed warping Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and himself into a nice house in Station Square.

"Sweet house.", Sonic said. "Here we are! My house!", Knuckles exclaimed. "When did you wake up?", Shadow asked. "You mean we tried to take over the White House, Amy's house, and Angel Island and the whole time, you had a house?", Tails asked starting to get angry. "When did we do those things?", Knuckles asked gulping. "KNUCKLES! I'LL KILL YOU!", Tails yelled chasing Knuckles around the house.

End of Chapter five of Sonic Stupidity. Please review if you like. "Do you ever say anything different at the end of every chapter?", Shadow asked annoyed. "Will you quit criticizing everything I say?", I asked. "Just shut up already and let these readers go about their day!", Shadow said. "You're the one to talk!", I mocked. "JUST SHUT UP!", Shadow yelled. "…"


	6. Room of the Red Bandit pt1

"Yo! Welcome to chappie six baby! Now keep holdin' on to your grillz and get da mo fucking reviews up to at least 40 by Chapter 10 and we'll roll steady on those wheels. Feelin' me?", I explained.

"You're the worst rapper I have ever heard and that is no way to get reviews.", Shadow stated. "Oh really? Then why don't you show me how to get reviews.", I said.

"Listen, give me at least 40 reviews by Chapter 10 or else I'll be forced to kill everyone in your families, burn them to bits, and eat them right in front of you and if you fail to cooperate, start giving your mommies hugs and kisses goodbye for it will be your last. Thank you and see you in hell.", Shadow threatened.

"That's a rather mean way to do it.", I said. "So, it has to be done.", Shadow replied. "What? The killing or the families or the burning and eating part?", I asked. "No moron! The reviews!", Shadow explained. I looked at him confused.

"You need at least 40 reviews by Chapter 10 or else this story isn't popular and you'll go crying to mommy for a month and no one will be able to read the story.", Shadow explained. "I don't know about the crying to mommy part but you have a point.", I agreed.

"What's up?", Sonic asked. "We're trying to get reviews up to at least 40 by Chapter 10.", I explained. "That's easy, make a contest!", Sonic exclaimed. "Like what?", I asked.

"Every Chapter, describe a person from some game or movie, and the first person to review the website who has the right answer, will get to put on of his or her ideas into the fic.", Sonic explained.

"Not a bad idea faker.", Shadow acknowledged. "Yeah, just review like you would for any other Chapter, then add in your answer along with the idea you have for the story, and it's all set.", Sonic said.

"Good idea Sonic, and to think you're not as stupid as I thought.", I said. "Now don't fool yourself Derek, I'm a lot stupider than you think.", Sonic warned. Shadow and I stared at him and changed our minds about when I said Sonic isn't as stupid as he looks.

"Anyway, every Chapter, I will describe a person from some game or movie, and the first person to review the website who has the right answer, will get to put on of his or her ideas into the fic. Just review like you would for any other Chapter, then add in your answer along with the idea you have for the story.", I explained.

"Good, now can we start the story?", Shadow asked. "Umm, sure, why not?", I asked. "Now let's start!", Sonic exclaimed. "I don't own any Sega trademark.", I said.

The new house…

Chapter 6: Room of the Red Bandit pt.1

Shadow was searching around the new house for a room he was to sleep in. He then stepped into the legendary Room of the Red Bandit. (Every now and then, I will base off a chapter off some movie or game like Star Wars and I'll call it Room of the Red Bandit pt. whatever number it is)

Two minutes ago in a galaxy only two blocks away…

Shadow walked through the other side of the door and found himself in a black robe of some sort and he had a red light saber. "What the?", He asked himself confused. "You arrived, my apprentice, Lord Vader.", Knuckles said. "What the hell is going on?", Shadow asked really confused.

"The rebels and Sonic Skyfagg has arrived here on my moon base.", Knuckles explained. "Why are we in a seriously stupid version of the movie collection Star Wars?", Shadow asked. "Star Wars movie? This is life my friend.", Knuckles said.

"You need to quit drinking so much, you room looks just like it does on the movie.", Shadow said. "What do you mean by drinking?", Knuckles asked.

"The rebels are here Lord Sickass!", stated a clone soldier. "No matter, my very confused apprentice will deal with them. Go Lord Vader and show them the true power of the stupid side of the force.", Knuckles ordered. "Isn't it called the 'dark side of the force'?", Shadow asked. "Just go!", Knuckles demanded.

Shadow left the room very confused but didn't find himself out of the Star Wars remake, or out of his attire for that matter. "What the hell? Shouldn't I be back in the house?", Shadow asked.

"This is for my mom and dad Darth Vader!", Sonic who came out of nowhere cried. He slashed at Shadow with his green light saber. "What the hell?", Shadow asked himself dodging the attack.

"What the hell is going on?", Shadow asked. "Well you see, I was just coming in here to avenge my parents which you are my father, and save my girlfriend who happens to be my sister Tails, but I don't know that yet.", Sonic explained.

"What? The I'm your father part of your girlfriend is not only a guy, but he's your sister?", Shadow asked. "I already knew that my sister was my girlfriend since the start.", Sonic explained.

Shadow threw up everywhere and stared at Sonic as if he was the world's stupidest, most retarded, nasty idiot in history. "I'm disgusted to be your father!", Shadow exclaimed. "You're my father? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's not true! NOOOOOOOOO!", Sonic cried as if it was the first time he heard this.

"Why has God made my life so cruel? Why dammit? Why?", Shadow cried. Then the O' so familiar light came down from the sky and tuned into Lord Yggdrasill. "You again?", Shadow asked. "For some reason, I keep warping into this fanfic. "Just leave me alone! I just found out my son makes out with my daughter!", Shadow explained.

"Calm down, there is nothing wrong with being…different. I'm gay by the way.", Yggdrasill explained. "Get away from me!", Shadow screamed. He ran out of Knuckles' room and straight into the kitchen where he found Amy. "Hooray! It's a woman!", Shadow cried.

"What's up with you?", Amy asked looking at the terrified Shadow. "Knuckles' room freaks me out. Everyone but me in there was making out with their sisters and being gay!", Shadow exclaimed. "You poor thing!", Amy exclaimed hugging Shadow as if he was a little baby who didn't have parents.

"Sup Shadow!", Tails said walking by. Shadow started screaming. "Tails…Are you gay or a girl for that matter?", Amy asked. "No.", Tails answered calmly yet confused. Shadow had a sigh of relief and quit screaming. "Maybe it was Star Wars, it is a gay movie if you think about it.", Shadow said.

"Hey Shadow! Why did you leave Knuckles' room? It was starting to get good!", Sonic said. "Are you gay faker?", Shadow asked. "What does gay mean?", Sonic asked. "Do you like boys or girls?", Shadow asked trying to make the question easier.

"Is this a trick question?", Sonic asked. "No.", Shadow answered. "Then I like girls.", Sonic answered. "All right, just wanted to know if I could stand living in this house or not.", Shadow said. "I wasn't lying though.", Yggdrasill said.

"Get out!", Shadow yelled. "Farewell then, may we part forever.", Yggdrasill said disappearing. "That moron is out of our lives. Thank God!", Shadow rejoiced. 'Was that God?", Tails asked. "If it was, then I'd rather burn in hell.", Shadow said. "Amen to that.", Sonic agreed.

End of Chapter Six. The description in the contest for this chapter will be a freebie for most people, (only the stupid ones don't know the answer) he is the world's fastest hedgehog, I'm not sure if he is the world's favorite but he's blue and he's fast.

"I wonder who that is.", Shadow said sarcastically. "Ooo! I don't know this one! Who is it?", Sonic asked. "Are you kidding Sonic?", I asked. "No I'm not kidding! I'm dying to know who it is!", Sonic answered. "Dumbass…" "Please note that the idea will not significantly change the story, but will be a good laugh and thank you!", I said.


	7. Life's a beachLiterally

"Looks like we have a winner for Chapter Six's contest! The winner and the only one who had the answer and an idea for the story is…Tailsie! If you guys wanna win, you have to submit the review, type in the answer and your idea. Hopefully this chapter will do better with the contest. I also need forty reviews by Chapter Ten.", I explained.

"Yes, I don't wanna be around when he cries to his mommy.", Shadow said. "I don't cry to my mother for one thing and another is keep out of my freakin' business.", I warned. "But I am part of your business. I'm in the story after all.", Shadow said. "I'll fire you.", I threatened. "No! I have three kids!", Shadow cried.

"Anyway, I have three people to introduce from, the newest game in the Sonic series 'Sonic Riders' Jet the Hawk, Storm the Albatross, and Wave the Swallow!", I announced as the three Bablyonian Rouges walked in. (Sorry if I misspelled Bablyonian, I just got the game and beat it) "You said we were getting paid to do this 'story'. Well, cough up the money!", Jet demanded. "You get your money after the story is over Jet.", I said with my fingers crossed.

"I'll explain their personalities; Jet is a laid back green hawk who loves treasure, money, and money. He is cocky like Shadow (He even has the same amount of white chest hair too, that's weird). Wave is a nerd like Tails except she doesn't act like it, she's pretty laid back too. She is purple and wears white, kinda like the inverse of Rouge. Storm is the huge gray bird who isn't very bright and tends to stutter a lot.", I explained. "I don't St-st-stu-st-st…", Storm tried to say. "Stutter?", Wave finished for him.

"The new group will be in every Chapter from now on and so will Team Chaotix.", I explained. "Yeah, so don't try anything smart.", Vector said. "Don't you usually say 'Don't try anything funny' or 'No funny business' or 'No getting any ideas now'?", Charmy asked. "Shut it!", Vector said.

"Moving on now, today's description will be about a character off of an anime (sorry if you don't watch anything like that) called Dragon Ball Z. He has a huge rivalry with Goku (or Kakarot) and always seems to be one step behind him. Calls himself the 'Prince of Saiyans' and he is really cocky.", I explained. (I don't own DBZ)

"Speaking of DBZ, HIT THE DECKS!", Jet cried. Everybody besides Sonic and Tails disappeared as a huge, HUGE Saiyan barged in. "Holy shit! Is that Broly?", Tails asked. "You know this guy?", Sonic asked Tails. "KAKAROT!", the huge man cried. "Carrot?", Sonic asked. "I think that's what he said.", Tails said.

"Kakarot, Kakarot, KAKAROT!", Broly cried. "Whoa, calm down big fellow, I hate carrots too, just not that much.", Sonic said. 'KAKAROOOOOOOOT!", Broly screamed. "Who da fuck is yelling like a hooka on Thursday? I'm tryin' to sleep homies so shut da fuck up!", Knuckles yelled.

"KAKAROT!", Broly screamed. "I SAID SHUT DA FUCK UP!", Knuckles screamed so loud that even Broly calmed down. "Yes ma'am.", Broly said innocently. "That's bett- Hey! I'm gonna bust a cap in your ass be-ach!", Knuckles threatened running into the room.

He ran into the room and started punching Broly until he Broly screamed. "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" "Great way to piss him off Knucklehead!", Sonic said. "He's a monster!", Tails cried. "I am no monster, I AM A GOD!", Broly exclaimed. "NO! The only God around here is ME! JBL!", some fat ugly, dude in the WWE that wears gay tights. (I do not own WWE, I know it's fake but I still watch it, my friend Sofaspud23 thinks it's stupid but that's his opinion)

Broly just killed the fat wannabe God and set his sights on Knuckles. "You, you're next.", he threatened. Knuckles gulped with fear and accidentally got so scared, that he did the unspeakable, he pissed on the floor! "You, disgusting!", Broly said. "Run Knuckles!", Tails exclaimed. Knuckles pulled out a Chaos Emerald and used Chaos Control and escaped.

"KAKAROT!", Broly screamed. "I HATE KAKAROT!" "Yeah, what the hell is with those carrots anyway? To me they taste like shit!", Sonic said. "Hahaha!", Broly laughed like a maniac. "I say we go blow up some motha fucking carrots! DEATH TO ALL CARROTS!", Sonic exclaimed. "KAKAROT!", Broly screamed in joy. "NO! SAVE THE CARROTS!", Tails exclaimed running off with a bag of chopped carrots.

They chased after Tails all around the house until they came across Shadow's hiding place. "Damn, they've discovered me, wait, are you Broly?", Shadow asked the huge Saiyan. "Yes, I am Broly, the God of Destruction! Hahaha!", Broly laughed. "Sweet! Can I have you're autograph and be your partner in crime?", Shadow asked Broly. "Yes.", Broly merely answered. "Woo! Now with Broly at my side, the universe will be mine! Mwuahahaha!", Shadow laughed maniacally.

Then Goku appeared out of nowhere and sighed. "Thank God, I finally got away from that huge as mother…HOLY SHIT! BROLY!", Goku exclaimed. "KAKAROT!", Broly screamed. Goku teleported himself and Broly by accident to some other planet while everyone else sat in their places confused.

"Oh yeah, Broly has an eternal hatred of Goku, but Goku's Saiyan name is Kakarot.", Tails explained. "NOOOO! I didn't get an autograph or get to take over the universe!", Shadow yelled. "That's too bad, I wanted an autograph of Goku but I didn't get one.", Tails said.

"KILL THE CARROTS!", Sonic exclaimed snatching the carrots from Tails, blowing them into smithereens, burning them to a crisp, and discarding the surviving bits into space. "Hahaha!", Sonic laughed maniacally. "And I thought Shadow was cruel and evil…has the Chapter even begun yet?", I asked. "I don't recall…", Tails answered.

"It hasn't. I didn't see a disclaimer or the name of the Chapter yet.", Shadow answered. "Oh geez! We better start! I do not own any Sega Trademark. Let's begin.", I said.

Chapter 8: Life is a beach…literally

Sonic, Shadow, and Amy (who likes Shadow for now) were on their way to the finest beaches in the world until Sonic saw this wormhole. "Cool!" "Wormholes don't exist on the planet, it's not possible!", Shadow explained. Because of Sonic's stupidity, he walked into the hole and disappeared. "That moron!", Amy said. "I'll go get him.", Shadow said as he ran into the wormhole before it disappeared.

Some alternate dimension…

Shadow landed on an island that looked exactly like one huge beach and saw Sonic. "Sonic! You stupid idiot! If that wormhole disappeared, we could be stuck here forever!", Shadow explained. The wormhole disappeared. "Huh? I'm not Sonic.", said the hedgehog who looked freakishly like Sonic and sounded like a girl.

"What?", Shadow asked. "Did you come to rescue me?", the girl asked. "No. I was looking for Sonic.", Shadow answered. "But I am Sonic.", said the girl. "And you came to rescue me! Here's a token of my appreciation.", the girl Sonic said kissing Shadow.

"DISGUSTING! FAKER KISSED ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Two hours later…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Shadow screamed so loud that he created a wormhole home. Shadow then puked so much that the dimension he was in was flooded with puke. Then he fainted. Sonic dragged Shadow through the puke and back into the world from whence they came.

End of the really short Chapter Seven… Sorry it was so short. I just needed a idea for this chapter. Next one, you get to read horrible singing. Bye!


	8. Da Wannabes

Hiya! Welcome to the horrid Chapter of the worst singers I've ever heard. Chapter Eight: Da Wannabes! I'll start with the contest. The answer was Vegeta! Now I have a question... Why did I get a lot of reviews, but nobody sent a single one about the contest, not even as slight as "I don't know", for the very least?

"Who cares? You still got reviews.", Sonic stated. "Wow, for once I agree with faker…", Shadow said. "Aren't you usually too stupid too know what we're talking about?", Knuckles asked. "I hit my head the other day so I guess it cured me.", Sonic answered. "I didn't know stupid was a disease or it could even be cured.", Tails said.

"Shadie waddie!", Amy called. "She calls you Shadie waddie?", Tails asked on the edge of laughing. "God dammit… Faker, please take Amy back. She's annoying as hell.", Shadow explained. "No.", Sonic replied. "Time for plan, 'The Last Resort That I Would Never Turn to Even If My Life Depended on It'.", Shadow started. "What?", Sonic asked.

"Faker! I beg of you! Have mercy on me! Please spare me from the horribly annoying beast of death! I'll do anything! Anything!", Shadow cried. "Oh really?", Sonic asked with an evil grin. "I won't like this…", Shadow said. "Deal.", Sonic agreed. "Should I be thankful, or not?", he wondered aloud. "We'll get to that by Chapter Ten. Now today's character description will be a one hundred percent chance that it is a small pink fluff that has the ability to suck things up and use their abilities no matter how gay it sounds.", I explained. "Now let's start Da Wannabes!", Tails exclaimed. "That's my line, you do the disclaimer.", I explained. "No!", Tails refused.

"I believe I forgot to have Knuckles puke on you last chapter.", I said pressing a switch behind my back. "I don't feel so good…", Knuckles said. "OKAY! Derek doesn't own any Sega trademark or any of theses songs!", Tails cried. Knuckles still puked on him. Tails cried and ran backstage. "I pity him sometimes…", Sonic said.

Chapter 8: Da Wannabes

"Good evening and welcome to our competition, 'American Idol' where wannabes, become stars.", said the narrator guy. "Tonight's judges are…Kenny from South Park!(I don't own Kenny) Sofaspud23! George W. Bush! Derek the Demon Prince! And last, and the least, Espio the Chameleon and Simon!" The crowd cheered on the Six Judges.

"Our first singer, for all you ladies… Knuckles da Echidna!", the announcer exclaimed. (Knuckles will sing Here Without You by Three Doors Down; I don't own this song or band)

"A hundred days had made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lights had made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles had separate  
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling   
as the people either way to say hello  
I hear this life is overrated  
but I hope it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love  
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done  
it get hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby   
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it's only you and me

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby   
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it's only you and me…", Knuckles sang almost perfectly.

All the girls fainted as if they were listening to an angel. "Mmnmmn!", Kenny complimented. "Nut-job? I ought to beat your ass!", Knuckles yelled. "I'd say it was horrible and you suck.", Espio said. "I agree.", Simon agreed. "Fuck you!", Knuckles yelled. "That was an excellent performance, at least, I would say that if I were gay.", I joked. "Go to hell!", Knuckles said flipping the birdie at me. "I was joking, you did good.", I explained. "Oh…" "Sofaspud23 left the room in middle of the song to see 'Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector'", the announcer explained. "Did I suck that bad?", Knuckles asked.

"The next contestant is the two tailed fox, Miles 'Tails' Prower!", the announcer exclaimed. (Tails will sing the Barney Song, I will never ever will own this song.)

Tails came out with a beer bottle in his hand and started to drink it. "Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! Chug it! Chug it!", the audience yelled as Tails chugged it. "Isn't that illegal for ten year olds?", Espio asked. "Who cares? This ought to be a good show.", I said. Now Tails was obviously drunk.

"I l-lov-love you

You love m-e-me

We're a bi-bit-big happy fam-i-fami-family

With a great…", Tails tried until he threw up all over the place and passed out. "That song sucked!", everyone including the judges yelled.

The janitor came on the stage and threw Tails outside. Then he noticed that Tails had Root Beer in his hand. "Root Beer?" "Now we don't need a vote on that one, Tails is disqualified for illegal use of Root Beer in a family show. He is the weakest link, goodbye. Now! Introducing the World's Fastest Hedgehog! In a special preview of the power of the seven Chaos Emeralds, please get your hands up for Super Sonic!", the announcer announced. Sonic flew onto the stage making a grand appearance and sang in the air. (Sonic will sing Good Times Gone by Nickelback. I don't own this either)

"Lost it on the chesterfield  
Or maybe on a gamblin wheel  
Lost it in a diamond mine  
It's dark as hell and hard to find  
You can climb to the top of the highest tree  
You can look around, but you still won't see  
What I'm lookin for

Where the good times gone?  
Where the good times gone?  
All the stupid fun  
And all that shit we've done  
Where the good times gone?  
Well I still don't know

Out in the back in the old corn field  
Underneath the tractor wheel  
Thought I'd dig, til I'd found it first  
Broke my back and died of thirst  
You can bribe the devil, you can pray to god  
You can sell off everything you got  
And you still won't know

Where the good times gone?  
Where the good times gone?  
All the stupid fun  
And all that shit we've done  
Where the good times gone?  
And you still don't know

Saw it on the silver screen  
Preacher says, "don't know what it means"  
Last page ad in a comic book  
Bought me a map, showed me where to look  
It ain't carved of stone or made of wood  
And if you paid for it, then it's still no good  
And you still won't know  
What I'm looking for

Where the good times gone?  
Where the good times gone?  
All the stupid fun  
And all that shit we've done  
Where the good times gone?"

The crowd erupted in cheers as Sonic landed on the ground. "Awesome, it struck tears to my eyes, that is, if I didn't know you were lip syncing it, it's so obvious.", Simon said. "I agree.", Espio agreed. "I didn't lip sync anything!", Sonic exclaimed. "Don't mind them; they're just angry because they can't be that good." I said. "What?", they both asked. "Mmnmnmn!", Kenny mocked.

Espio threw a ninja star at Kenny's throat and killed him. "Oh my god! You killed Kenny!", Stan exclaimed. "You bastards!", Kyle finished. "Prove it! Prove I can't sing!", Espio yelled. "Fine!", I exclaimed pulling out a tape, TV, and a VCR. I plugged it all in and put in the tape.

At a mountain area…

Team Chaotix were on a trip to the top of the mountain. (More of a hike) "Are we there yet?", Charmy asked. "No.", Espio answered. "Your mom!", Vector exclaimed. "What about my mom?", Espio asked. "Your mom!", Vector exclaimed again. (Vector is obsessed with people's moms) "Are we there yet?", Charmy asked again. "No.", Espio answered trying to stay calm. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?", Charmy asked a billion times. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Espio screamed. "Your mom screamed last night!", Vector exclaimed. "DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!", Espio yelled.

"My life really sucks

It's like I lost ten bucks

You all can burn in hell

Charmy's gay as a bell

Burn in Hell!

Beg for Mercy!

You stupid dumshit-bitch-ass-mother fucker!

My life is a drag

Vector is a fag

Charmy waves his flag

All of you suck!

Burn in Hell!

Beg for Mercy!

You stupid dumshit-bitch-ass-mother fucker!

I hate all you

You make wanna puke

You all are a bunch of flukes!", Espio sang horribly.

"Man, you suck at singing, worse than your mom!", Vector said. "Are you done yet?", Charmy asked. "Not really.", Espio answered seriously pissed off. "Better pissed off than pissed on, but you're both!", Vector exclaimed.

The end…

"You suck!", the audience yelled at Espio. "Damn you all to hell!", Espio cried. He ran out of the room.

End of Chapter Eight. Next is Da Wannabes 2. Please don't forget the contest and review. (P.S. Sorry it took so long)


	9. Final Stupidity

Now it is time for the final chapter of Sonic Stupidity! If I get 40 reviews for this chapter, I will make a sequel now that I have my own email address (I won't be sharing with my friend Sofaspud23 anymore). The sequel's name will be The Speed of Stupidity! (I hope you don't think it is a good title, the whole point is for it to be is for it to be stupid) I've decided that this will be my longest chapter that I have ever made (I try to keep it at three or four pages to update frequently but I learned that I should make them longer and wait about two weeks before I make another, it seems to earn more reviews, of course, you can argue with me if you want).

While making the sequel, I also plan on making a crossover fan fiction between Kingdom Hearts II, Final Fantasy VII and X (Not X-2), Sonic the Hedgehog, Devil May Cry 3, Inu-yasha, Dragon Ball Z, Tales of Symphonia and anything else that comes to mind. Anyway, enough of this boredom, time for The Supreme Stupidity! I don't own anything that has to do with Sega Trademark or movies, anything like that.

At American Idol Studio, thingy, place, whatever… 

"The winner of American Idol is", the announcer was about to announce. Shadow then jumped out with two machine guns and shot the announcer twice, on through his head, once through his heart. "That's for canceling my singing you son of a bi", Shadow started before Jet, Wave, Storm, and Eggman jumped out also well loaded with weapons. "You also canceled ours! You're gonna pay for this, in cold cash!", Jet said. "Huh? I'm only here to shoot my mom before she sells herself on Ebay.", Eggman explained. "Now where is that be-ach at?", Eggman demanded to know.

Tails was on the Internet looking for men on Ebay so he could hire a butler and bodyguards (he's too weak to defend himself without machines). "That's a bunch of bull-poop!", Tails exclaimed. (He also is the girl that needs to be sacrificed in order to revive that weird witch thingy that pays people to "please" her. (The Brother's Grim is where I found this idea)). "I am not a girl and that woman is good looking!", Storm replied as if I was referring to him. "Not you idiot! That girl Tails!", I yelled at the big dummy. "I am not big or a dummy!", Tails exclaimed as if the last statement I said was for him.

"Shut up already! I only wanted the precious!", Eggman exclaimed. "I thought you were stopping your mother from being sold on Ebay! What the hell is the precious?", Shadow asked. "Your mom! Hahahaha!", Eggman laughed with triumph. Literally! The word triumph was standing right next to Eggman.

Sonic walked out with a pony and a giant Oreo cookie following him. "Shadie! Come and play ponies with me!", Sonic screamed. Shadow looked at Sonic as if the world was about to take the worst turn imaginable. As if things couldn't get any worse, Sonic said, "No guns or ultra-cool rebellious killing allowed Shadie. Just love, passion, and flowers." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Shadow screamed.

Then Tails took a bite out of a weird freakishly mutated alien candy bar and spat it out. "Yuck! Who sold this crap!", Tails yelled. He ran outside the studio-thingy and looked across the street to see Black Doom selling the mutated candy bars. "It's Black Doom!", Tails exclaimed.

"Who-kwsh does-kwsh that-kwsh fox-kwsh think-kwsh she-kwsh is-kwsh?", Black Doom asked in his alien way of speaking. "Ooookay! I didn't understand you. Please repeat?", Tails asked. "Make-kwsh me-kwsh!", Black Doom said. "Did you just say make out with you?", Tails asked starting to get scared. "Idiot-kwsh!", Black Doom said annoyed. He teleported off to some other place.

"Weirdo", Tails thought aloud. Then a puddle of darkness appeared under Tails and engulfed him. He reappeared at a sword-fighting arena where a guy in a green tunic and tights (Link from Legend of Zelda) was fighting a boy who was using an over-sized key instead of a sword (Sora from Kingdom Hearts). "Dull. A guy in a dress fighting someone using a toy shaped a key.", Tails said.

They both stopped their duel and looked at Tails with mean glances, literally. The words mean and glances were staring at him (or her) as well. "I'm not a girl!", Tails exclaimed. "Riiiiiiight!", I said sarcastically. Link just screamed out of the blue, then screamed again. "What the hell? Is that your way of talking?", Tails asked. Link screamed again. "Whatever…And what's up with you?", Tails asked Sora.

"What do you mean by that?", Sora asked. "Wow! You can talk?", Tails asked surprised. "You piss me off.", Sora said. "What are you gonna do? Hit me with a 'Keyblade'?", Tails asked sarcastically. Sora stabbed Tails and it caused blood to flush out. "Oww! What the hell man? Just what the hell? It's a damn key, but it was as sharp as Sonic and Shadow's quills after they sharpened them (Ever wondered how jumping in Sonic games killed robots? Now you know)!

"Serves you right woman! Now get out of my face!", Sora demanded. "I'm not a girl!", Tails exclaimed. "Explain the high pitched voice then! Or maybe you haven't hit puberty yet!", Sora mocked. "Shut up!", Tails yelled. "Make me!", Sora mocked. Link who was feeling left out screamed again. "Shut the fuck up!", Tails and Sora yelled. Link then pulled his Bow out and shot at Sora. Sora quickly used Reflega (the final enhanced form of Reflect) and the arrow bounced of and went straight into Link's head. Link let out one final scream and died a most painful death.

"Nice one.", Tails complimented. "I'm receiving a compliment from a transsexual guy.", Sora said shaking his head. "I oughta kill you!", Tails exclaimed. "Then do it!", Sora yelled. Tails slapped him and ran off crying. "My hand hurts!", he whined. "Boohoo!", Sora mocked. Tails found himself being engulfed by darkness again and disappeared.

Tails reappeared at Sonic's house. We walked in the door and found Knuckles drinking a Vodka. "Hiya buddy old 'hic' pal.", Knuckles greeted obviously drunk. "Not again…Can I ask you a favor?", Tails asked. "S-sure buddy!", Knuckles said putting his arm over Tails. "Try not to throw up.", Tails said moving cautiously away from Knuckles. "Anything buddy!", Knuckles said hugging Tails. "Umm…Knuckles?", Tails asked right before he threw up on him and passed out. "NOOOOOOOOO! DAMMIT! WHY ME? WHYYYYYYYY!", Tails screamed at the top of his lungs.

He cried for two and a half hours, literally, he cried because two and a half hours were laughing at him, until Shadow walked and covered in blood and he had a machine gun, but he was laughing like a maniac. "I did it! I killed the faking mother faker! (P.S. I didn't get this off Sonic Insanity but thanks for the review Mecha Scorpion! Awesome fan fiction, I started reading it) This caused Tails to cry even louder. "Are you crying just to make me angry or weeping over the death of faker?", Shadow asked. "I'm back!", Sonic exclaimed and he walked in. "Not now faker, I'm busy trying to get this fox to quit whining about your death.", Shadow explained completely oblivious to the fact that Sonic was alive. "I died?", Sonic asked surprised. "Yeah, I shot you ten times with my machine gun, then burnt you to hell with a flamethrower, and chopped off your arms and legs and left you to die the most painful death imaginable.", Shadow explained.

"Oh! So that explains the white wings and the halo, right?", Sonic asked. "Sure, whatever. Anyway, quit crying you little weak idiot, or else I'll kill you like faker here.", Shadow threatened. "Maybe Tails is starting to become a man Shadow. I mean we never showed him what it is to be a man and he's clueless watching these soap operas. Why don't we try to show him a good time.", Sonic said. "I agree faker, one question though. Did you meet God?", Shadow asked. "No, he had an appointment.", Sonic explained. "They said a murderous black and red hedgehog on the lose." "Huh, figures, I knew that they knew that I knew that they knew that I knew that they knew that I escaped from hell all those days ago.", Shadow said.

35 years ago…

"I was inside that capsule thingy at the military base on Prison Island, where one day, I died, full of hatred for humans and the desire to avenge Maria, I was sent straight to hell.", Shadow explained (he's narrating this). "But after I was sent to hell, I realized that I would never be able to avenge Maria, so I planned a way to escape." Shadow walked around the fiery pits of hell searching for Satan himself. "Maybe he can help me escape.", Shadow thought aloud.

He walked around hell until he came across Saddam. "Well look who it is, the fag who was caught hiding like a rat. You 'terrorist'! Stupid Bush…", Shadow mocked. "Say, I heard you looking for Satan.", Saddam said. "What's the catch?", Shadow asked. "You help me escape too.", Saddam explained. "First, where's Satan?', Shadow asked. "At the throne of hell, where else?", Satan explained. "Where's that?", Shadow asked. "You're hopeless…Follow me.", Saddam said annoyed.

"I followed the fag terrorist to the throne oh hell where Satan would be waiting, and would be the beginning of a long battle of rebels, prostitutes, of stupid dumb-ass terrorists.", narrator Shadow explained.

Back in Sonic's House…

"That's all for today.", Shadow said. "Come on! I wanna hear the rest! Please uncle Shadie?", Sonic pleaded. "Sorry, but Derek said in Speed of Stupidity, If he gets five viewers per chapter, Shadow will continue his story, something like that. Kinda stupid if you ask me, I'd rather get it out now.", Shadow explained. "So would I but it's nice to try new ways to get reviews", I said. "Whatever.", Shadow said.

"By the way, this was for you Sonic.", Tails said giving Sonic a tape recorder. Sonic played it and listened. "Is this thing on? Mwhahaha! I have a plan to defeat you this time Sonic! You dare to…", Eggman started. "Ivan! Would mind clipping my toenails? I get auctioned off tomorrow. I also need you to give me a bath!", Eggman's mom yelled. "Mom! This isn't the time! I'm trying to lead Sonic into my trap at the bowling alley! Can't you wait?", Eggman asked. "I want you here now!", Eggman's mom yelled. "Yes ma'am.", Eggman said. The video stopped.

Everyone just started laughing like crazy. "What the hell? 'Ivan! Give me a bath!'", Tails mocked.

That's the end of chapter nine, Final Stupidity, but do not fear, this won't be the last from the Prince of all Demons! Never! If you want to continue reading, look for a story called 'The Speed of Stupidity' _by Derek the Demon Prince_. It will come up in a week or so. Until then, review and farewell.


End file.
